Part 3 Neighbours from Hell

The writing was on the wall from when the 'Neighbours from Hell' first moved in. They arrived with their removals firm and a respected resident of High Brighton Street went across to offer them a welcoming cup of tea. This was rebuked by 'Mrs Neighbour from Hell' with the retort 'l have my own kettle'!

Residents tell me that they then began to receive visits or letters from various authorities in regards to complaints that were invariably petty, malicious and more importantly ... unsubstantiated. These authorities included such as the Police, ERYC, RSPCA, Traffic Warden etc. These complaints continue to this day, albeit the Traffic Warden is now replaced by ERYC's own Civil Parking Enforcement Officers.

What also became increasingly noticeable was the frequency of 'social' visits from officers etc of the various authorities to the 'Neighbours from Hell' ... often just before or just after these officers called on residents in regards to complaints received against them ... or had parking tickets put on their vehicles.

These authorities are obligated to act on all complaints. However some of the officers concerned accidentally let slip where the complaints had come from. Whether these slips of the tongue were accidents is open to speculation :) Some officers have even been very apologetic when calling on residents and one has to assume this is because they understand the situation.

l myself have to be thankful of this because l too have been subject to malicious complaints which could've easily resulted in serious consequences.A few months back l went out to empty my vehicle in High Brighton Street. The time was around 22.00 hrs and when l went to my vehicle l noticed a police vehicle parked nearby with 2 officers inside.As l opened the doors to my vehicle and started to take things out, the 2 officers got out of their vehicle and approached me. My profession involves high level security and so l was in no doubt that neither of these officers viewed me as a potential dangerous threat. Their tasers were holstered and their empty hands were nowhere near these weapons or any other weapon. They also approached me together and not from each side of the vehicle.

Am l being dramatic? No, not in the least because what they were coming to ask me about was a report that l had put a  lethal sword in my vehicle! They were very apologetic as they told me they'd had a report of me putting such a weapon in my vehicle. l'd laughed when they told me this and replied 'l take it you mean my umbrella? Shall l get it for you or do you want to search the vehicle yourself?. They replied that it was ok for me to get the umbrella. l reached in my vehicle and retrieved the umbrella and handed it to them .... again asking if they wanted to search the vehicle. They again refused.

l had noticed the 'Neighbours from Hell' curtain twitching when l'd first come out to my vehicle so l said to the officers 'l know who's done this. lt's them pathetic bastards over there isn't it? ... and pointed directly to the 'Neighbours from Hell'. l told them that 'Mr Neighbour from Hell' had seen me with the umbrella earlier in the day and so it had to be him because there was no-one else about. The officers looked a little sheepish but replied that they were not allowed to tell me who made the complaint. Again l just laughed. We then chatted for a while and then they went back to their vehicle as l went back to my vehicle and took some gear back into the house.

When l came back out they were still in their vehicle so l went over and knocked on the passenger window. They powered the window down and l said 'Promise me you won't arrest Mary Poppins because it would upset my daughters' They both laughed and l then bid them goodnight and went back into the house.

l then came back out again about 10 mins later and lo and behold, who are the policemen talking to? ... none other than 'Mr Neighbour from Hell' :)

If either of those policemen read this, you have my thanks for 'knowing your patch' so to speak.

We had a word in East Germany for people like these 'Neighbours from Hell' ... we called them 'Spitzel'

Unbeknown to myself at the time of the 'umbrella incident', 'Mrs Neighbour from Hell' had already been targeting myself to another authority ... ERYC Civil Parking Enforcement. Unlike the afore mentioned policemen, we have YE07, John Skidmore and Mark Greenley applying ethics that would be more at home with the STASI. All will be revealed in forth coming posts.

Next post ... John Skidmore